Varicosele Resorce and Information and Myths about Men and Infertility

Here is some more information about male infertility and vericosele.

How Varicocele Repair Can Be an Effective Treatment

Myths About Men and Infertility

Birthday Angel

When you finally get pregnant, everyone has an opinion about how you stay fit. Don’t eat too much, not too little, no exercise, exercise, no alcohol, and no caffeine, don’t lift anything heavy. Nothing you can possibly do will be perfect. I am here to tell you that in your first trimester, you are at the mercy of nature.  This blog is not for the faint of heart or weak stomach. I discourage you to read if you do not like to hear about blood.

Randy and I just came home from Big Bear California for a mini vacation. I had leakage the entire trip. I was reassured that my pregnancy was okay. Randy and I finally submitted that we must have somehow forgotten to mark our calendar on some occasion.  My father’s installation in the Knights of Columbus was a Thursday, and Randy’s birthday was on Sunday July 28^th.  Thursday night I started bleeding again, this time at the installation. I didn’t want to go. I felt week, but knew that this was important to my father. At the installation I found out he told my aunt and uncle who I am not very close with. I had told him before that we were not letting everyone know until the first trimester was over just in case. After the installation was a pot luck dinner.  I took a trip to the ladies room and realized that I was bleeding through my pad and my black dress. I wanted to leave immediately. 

I was told I was 8 weeks pregnant.  When I got home I made a B-line straight to the restroom and shut the door. I was cramping. Not bad cramps though. The information available through books and internet say that bad cramps and back pain are indicators of miscarriages. I have had periods worse than this. This was still too bloody. I felt something come out of me; the same sensation if you have a heavy period and a tampon is soaked and comes out when you use the restroom.

                
I know my husband. He would have put his hand straight into the toilet weather I asked or not. Instead I asked him to fetch me one of those disposable bamboo skewers, and to not ask any questions or I would flush. What came out were clots, tissue, and fibrous material.  I called my aunt Maddie. She is an RN and not very squeamish. I know that she might know because she suffered a miscarriage. She suggested that it was just part of the uterus that I was told would exfoliate from the Crinone. She also suggested we save this in a Ziploc in the refrigerator,  go to the Doctor tomorrow, (because the bleeding was the same as one of my periods and not enough to put me at risk of hemorrhaging).

               
On Friday the Doctor was in surgery and the office had to cancel all his appointments. We went in anyway, to see the nurse, and get two STAT blood tests to check my Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) levels. This was not how Randy and I wanted to spend his birthday weekend. Over the weekend I knew my body, but Maddie and Randy wanted to remain positive. Maddie and I got my blood drawn on Friday and again on Monday. My appointment with Ms. Mona was on Tuesday and I was fully expecting bad news. Ms. Mona confirmed it. We lost our baby. After leaving the doctor's, Randy looked like he wanted to punch someone. We both took two cars, so he could go to school after our appointment.  I let him tell his mother and father. I told the other friends over text. I did not want to talk about it.

               
Reflecting now, Randy got an angel for his birthday. We were able to get pregnant, and that is a hurdle that we never thought we would get over. I took two days off from work, but it was a rotten time. We were short staffed. I gave myself only two days to cry. I neglected housework, cooking and only concentrated on schoolwork and my business. This is part of why I hate the saying “children are a gift from God”.  How could God bless so many 17 year old girls on MTV but not me? I know God has a plan, but I cannot accept people saying this. Babies are biology; the product of  a choice one makes. Randy and I were praying for a healthy baby, we got a perfect angel instead.

© All original content copyright Nancy De Lazzaro Brannum, 2013-2013             

June 16, 2013 Fathers Day

Fast forward to this year and Randy’s second vericosele surgery and we are still not pregnant. The date is June6th.  I am supposed to start the very next day. His surgery is set for 12:30 pm but was pushed back to 5 pm. I let him eat, drink, and snuck him Icebreaker mints without guilt. He was already going through enough. This time we were by ourselves because we did not want his parents to worry.  In true Randy fashion, he wanted to fix the hospitals phone jack that was hanging off the wall since his last surgery. The nurse forgot to flush his I.V. for two hours. Finally he was wheeled off. Dr. L asked if we were still trying. He had performed three other vericosele procedures and all three men got their wives pregnant.

Two and a half hours later, his doctor came to talk to me. He said that even though the procedure is not usually effective on the right side, there were a lot of veins that could be cauterized even if they did not have a large vericosele grade. He wished me luck and I gave him a pack of peanut M&M’s.

Little did we know; we were pregnant. After nine days of being late, we decided that I should schedule a blood test on the following Monday. But that Sunday was Fathers’ day. I was scheduled to work and so was Randy. He was planning on visiting his parents after work. Curiosity got the best of me. I took the pregnancy test that came with the ovulation tests. One of the lines was faint. I did not trust it. I decided to get a digital test on my way to work.

At work I was on edge. I took the test and the three minutes seemed to take forever. One of my coworkers was also edgy. He happens to have six children. I could not contain myself. I asked him if he was "expecting". He was trying to be coy with me. My suspicion was right. He found out that day that he was going to be a father again. I pulled out my test to see the results and my eyes bulged out. I was ecstatic but really just wanted to see my husband. I called my manager and said that I have to leave. My work understood. They know my struggles and my work ethic. They have been very accommodating because my fertility specialist schedules my visits depending on my cycles. I rushed to see my husband at the happiest place on earth, Disneyland. He works there on the weekends. My sister was there. I was able to get her to stall him. My brother in law was able to video his reaction.

We were shocked. May was such a busy month and we were very busy with friends visiting and a family wedding in Las Vegas. I think we actually only had tried three times that month and only once when I was ovulating. This may sound bad for a marriage but for infertile couples sometimes a break and some spontaneity is really good. We would not say that age old saying, “if you stop trying it will happen,” but more like when you are too busy to think about it, because it is just an inconvenient time; it might happen.  For the moment we just enjoyed winning a small battle with infertility and told only those who would help us in case of miscarriage.

© All original content copyright Nancy De Lazzaro Brannum, 2013-2013